The hardest thing about blogging is deciding what to write about. Every night (I write only late at night) I am presented with a blank canvas, a fresh clean page on which to write something. My options are virtually unlimited, but at times my imagination isn’t nearly so expansive. At such times I am tempted to take the easy way out, to “cop out” and fall back on the same old subject that always offers writers an easy target and a guaranteed audience—naked people.
For God’ sake, how people do love reading about naked people! They love it more than I ever realized. A Google search for “nudist” returns over 900,000 articles and “naturist” returns almost four million.
Nudists in the news? Google’s got hundreds of recent articles listed in Google News. That’s a lot of stuff about dangling naughty bits and sunburn.
I am reluctant to admit this, but I once had a business idea that centered around nudists. It wasn’t a very good idea, as it turned out, but it seemed solid at the time. I mention it because I think it might be instructive for you. There’s a lesson to be learned.
I’ve only taken one business class in my life, but I’ve read a lot of books on business subjects—things like supply and demand, marketing principles, and the like. The one common thread that seemed to run through all those books was this one principle: a successful business finds a need and fills it. Makes sense.
When I had this idea I thought I’d hit the jackpot for sure. It was simple, obvious and… I couldn’t believe that no one had thought of it before. There was a glaring, crying-out-loud need, and I certainly had the means to fill it. The idea went like this:
I had read in a newspaper that there are over 400,000 self-identified, card carrying nudists in the United States and considerably more in Canada. In addition to these, there are a few million more casual, part-time nudists who occasionally make a trip to one of America’s 200+ nudist parks and resorts. “What is the one thing that all these naked people most desperately need?” I asked myself.
Sure, nudists need insect repellant, sunscreen and something in which to carry what might otherwise be carried in their pockets. But, more than anything else, nudists need… clothes!
Voila! Instant retailing success, I was sure. Never had their been a more under served market segment than that of the chronically nude.
So, I got out my squeegee, inks and screens, and printed up a complete line of nudist t-shirts. I had t-shirts commemorating such legendary nudist places as Mays Landing and Austin’s Hippie Hollow, the only state operated nudist park in America. I had t-shirts commemorating some of the early nudist organizations, nudist resorts and other topics I thought would be of interest to nudists. Just for good measure, I added a small collection of hats. I figured if you’re naked around the barbecue pit you’d want the sun out of your eyes. I was set to make a mint!
Mary Ann told me it wouldn’t work. “How are yoou going to get the goods in front of the intended market?” she asked. Good question, and one I hadn’t really considered before printing up a rather large supply of shirts. There aren’t any nudist shops at the mall that might carry my shirts, and there were, insofar as I could determine, no malls in nudist colonies. I knew Mary Ann would be against direct selling.
After six months of trying to peddle all that nudist gear, I gave up. My plan didn’t work. I’ve owned dozens of failed businesses, and this was just one of them. The lesson to be learned was to stop wasting money on business books.
I mentioned this above, but did you know that Texas has the only clothing optional state park? It’s true, and it was legendary when I was in college. Still is. I hasten to add that I have seen it only in pictures. (I’m interested to see how many clicks this link gets.)
Google News today links to a lighthearted article about the world’s largest skinny dip recently organized by the American Association for Nude Recreation. Yes, there is such an organization, and it’s 50,000 members strong. There’s also an article about naked yoga, the current craze among the fitness and meditation fashionistas.
So, there you have it. With that last sentence I hit 650 words, the minimum number of words needed to create an acceptable blog article according to the Perkerson Park (not clothing optional) style guide. I hope you were informed and, possibly, entertained. I took the night off and still managed to get my job done. God bless America.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Low down. That link was low down.
Do you still have some of those nudist t-shirts? I actually have a Sales Rep from Boston that is a practicing nudist. In fact, anytime there is a sales meeting, other Sales Reps refuse to share a room with him because of it! I think he needs to receive one from me for Christmas this year…..drag those out, there may just be a market for them yet!!
I attend a church that is planning their annual picnic. Being a rather inclusive bunch, with a few exceptions, I think I’d like to purchase one for myself and my mother to wear on Picnic Saturday! Perhaps other church members would like to join me on yet another adventure as we join together in our common desire to divide the institutions of “church & hate”. Please advise if you do have an assortment of these coveted tees and/or hats. There should be a market for the activist in many of us. FYI – I don’t think, and don’t care, if any of our members are practicing nudists. We will be at a church campground that probably has “rules and regulations”. Therefore even the nudist amongst us would probably need to cover up with a tee shirt. I await your reply and will happily take orders for you should you so desire.
Where can I find a church like that? I have heard of casual, contemporary church service, but never clothing optional. That’s what I call progressive!
I have miscommunicated – my church is liberal, very liberal. However clothing is not “optional”. We all are dressed for the occassion, never “nakid” or even 1/2 “nakid”. We like various styles, fashions and even price ranges. From silk to cotton we wrap those clothes around us and do our best not to out-dress the other.
However, many of the members of the church are very liberal. We do not control, or attempt to control, the lifestyle choices the pew people make in the privacy of their own individual spaces. Many times we disagree, but then we agree to disagree. AND WE LAUGH!
Laughing was the activity I was promoting. Laughing at the idea that some of us might wear tee shirts &/or hats that bore a message advertising a nudist camp or lifestyle. Some of the more conservative among our membership would frown on our tee shirt messages – and the rest of us – well the rest of us could simply go home and smell the roses. All the while, a few of us would enjoy the laughter that would surely come should we wear nudist wear tee shirts at our annual picnic!
It’s not nice to laugh at the nudists. On the other hand… how many of those t-shirts do you want?
Can we get styles/size descriptions…..or are they one size fits all. If they are one size fits all then we might have a problem. I certainly have never felt that one size fit everybody. We are too diverse a population for that, don’t you think? Tomorrow at church maybe I should take orders – or at least shake a few trees. Oh, yeah do you think we could get a wearer’s discount if we arrange a mission trip just to the “outskirts”. Maybe Tracey would do a promo campaign if she were afforded bragging rights.
If I were hanging around nude near a BBQ pit…I think I’d want something around my waist before something over my eyes.