It was the second time I’d heard it today. “Harry Potter? Those books, I never read ‘em, never will. Not much chance I’ll be seeing those movies either,” my strictly-by-the-book Baptist friend exclaimed over the phone.
“As a Christian,” he said, “I don’t want anything to do with all that witchcraft stuff. You know, J. K. Rowling got caught up in witchcraft before she wrote those books, and now she’s promoting it to every child she can suck into a movie theater or entice to read her satanic propaganda. I can’t believe that Christian people are taking their children to see that trash. It’s brainwashing!”
I guess I should have known it, but somehow I didn’t. I had a fundamentalist Christian neighbor years back who thought that letting her four year old daughter dress up in a Strawberry Shortcake costume and do a little Halloween trick-or-treating with the other neighborhood kids would be altogether too close a brush with the occult. So, I should have guessed that folks like her would be up in arms about a spell casting kid and his compatriots on the big screen. I’m just surprised it took me this long to hear about it. So… what can you say to a person like that?
I did a little checking around and discovered that at least one fundamentalist preacher thinks you’d be better off reading pornography to your children than taking them to see a Harry Potter film. Some folks can sure get worked up, can’t they?
In an effort to change the subject I asked my friend about his favorite movies. Hands down, he told me, Patton is the best movie ever made. I saw the George C. Scott blockbuster at the Fox theater in Atlanta when it was released back in 1970.
Patton was a great movie, and I loved it. It won seven academy awards. As I recall, it was about war—blood, guts, destruction and death. The legendary opening scene had Patton delivering a stirring speech designed to whip soldiers into a frenzy, the kind of frenzy it would take to maim, kill, crush, destroy and utterly defeat the enemy. He advocated letting “the other poor son-of-a-bitch die for his country,” sort of the general idea in war.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a pacifist, and I’m not always opposed to war. Quite the contrary, I can think of at least three military expeditions undertaken during my lifetime that were, in my opinion, wholly justified.
On the other hand, Christ didn’t seem to have much good to say about war. As a rule, I don’t think Christ encouraged it. Consequently, I’m not so sure that as Christians we ought to aggrandize and romanticize war too much. Unless, of course, like my friend, we’re disposed to gag on the gnat and swallow the camel. There weren’t any churches boycotting Patton, were there?
How about music? My friend put George Jones at the top of his A-list of music heroes. About what you’d expect of a somewhere-around-fifty Caucasian guy living in Nashville, Tennessee. Hey, I like George myself.
“Remember all those songs guys like George recorded back in ‘60s?” he recollected fondly. “I loved those songs. They just don’t write country songs like those anymore.” Maybe he’s right… maybe they don’t.
I guess he was talking about songs like “White Lightnin’” and “The Bottle Let Me Down.” Understand, I’m not offering the slightest criticism of those songs, George Jones nor any of the other stars of country music who made songs of that genre famous. On the other hand, I’m a little puzzled by my friend’s thought that making music about booze, drunkenness and generally low class behavior (all mainstay themes of country music in the 1960s and beyond) can qualify someone as a music “hero,” worthy of celebration by the Christian right. In the minds of millions of evangelicals throughout the South country music equals true American music, and true American music equals music approved by the Lord.
Public intoxication, private intoxication, marital infidelity, general hell raising, low living and shocking degrees of intentional ignorance (did I mentioned intoxication?) are not much approved by the Lord, but these themes were the staple of popular country music throughout the 1960s. Things have been toned down a bit over the years. Now those themes are sandwiched between patriotic anthems and embarrassingly corny God-country-and-apple-pie pseudo-gospel musical cobblers.
The point is that for my friend and several million fundamentalist Christians like him, a drunken singer singing about getting drunk makes a musical hero, but a fascinating tale about a kid who uses a secret potion or a magic wand to triumph over the forces of evil must be boycotted.
Weird. Doesn’t make a helluva lot of sense.
But, gee… who knows? Maybe my friend’s right. Maybe that Harry Potter stuff is satanic. Mary Ann and I were going to see the latest Harry Potter film later in the week, but maybe we ought to play it safe and stay home. The last thing I need right now is to pay ten bucks to get all satanized up without my even being aware of it. It could throw a wrench into a lot of things.
Lord knows, I’ve been fooled by seemingly innocent and smiling faces before. After all, I’m the guy who thought Congress was going to reform health care.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Reasonable people do not exist. We just pretend. There are those of us who prefer George Jones drunk songs over the seething rhetoric of MADD. Harry Potter has promoted reading like nothing else in a long time. The Satanic No Child Left Behind vs. Harry? Give me Harry. Ask teachers. Oh yea. I forget. Teachers are Satanic. They belong to the NEA which is one letter off from the NRA . I’ll bet teachers carry their books into restaurants. Now the signs will have to read “NO GUNS OR BOOKS” in our local cafes. Gawd. Things are so complicated.
I’ve seen all of the Harry Potter movies, with the exception of the latest and I’ll probably see that one too although I admit to never having read any of the books. I think maybe I should though….just on principal. If there is any group that needs a magic wand twirl over the forces of evil it’s the fundamentalists, such as your friend. Hmm wonder if that means I’m a witch……I’d love to know C. S. Lewis’ take on it…he wrote about a witch too. At any rate, I can get discounted movie tickets through my company, so if anyone wants any, let me know and I’ll be happy to get on my broom and ride down to Human Resources and pick those up…or maybe I’ll just wave my magic wand or maybe I’ll just wrote a country song and redeem myself.