Sometimes new ideas, such as was no-fault divorce in the early 1970s, seem to make so much sense that they immediately gain near universal support. Time often proves such ideas to be as useful, good and worthwhile as they initially seemed, but that is not always the case. Sometimes ideas that seem so very good at first produce results that are very bad—results quite contrary to those intended. No-fault divorce, I am now convinced, is one such bad idea.
Over the past several years most public discussion of marriage has centered around the topics of gay marriage, civil unions for GLBT couples, and other similarly contentious issues. While we’ve been so preoccupied discussing just what types of unions our laws should bless we’ve paid far too little attention to the deterioration and dissolution of a very high percentage of those unions that currently enjoy legal recognition.
Whether we’re talking about traditional marriage, non-traditional marriage, same-sex marriage, or any other kind of civilly sanctioned union resembling marriage, the goal should be to create and protect relationships that serve the needs and interests of the parties involved and society at large. The stability and enduring character of our most intimate relationships have much to do with the emotional, psychological and economic stability of children, the parties themselves, and the ability of society to order itself in ways beneficial to us all.
Sadly, by making divorce a readily available, quick and simple option, by relieving plaintiffs of all need to show any reason at all for dissolving marriages, we have portrayed marriage as something less solemn and binding than, say, your Netflix video rental agreement. Just as the number of state and federal laws and regulations protecting the rights of employees have grown, the rights and responsibilities once afforded to spouses have all but completely faded from our civil codes. In the name of administrative expediency marriage and divorce have been reduced to mere trivialities.
What’s more, none of the benefits we hoped to gain through no-fault divorce have actually panned out. It was initially believed that implementing no-fault divorce would do away with much of the vicious lying that went on in courtrooms every day as complaining spouses tried to convince courts that defendants had committed acts sufficient to justify divorce under the law. Back then, if adultery was alleged, then adultery had to be proved. If cruelty was alleged, then evidence supporting that allegation had to be put forward. That situation, of course, all too often tempted plaintiffs (often in collusion with defendants) to manufacture evidence and perjure themselves in the effort to persuade courts and juries that divorce was warranted.
The fact is, though, that things haven’t improved. Alimony, support and property division remain triable issues, so the incentive to lie remains at a high level. In order to win larger alimony payments or more advantageous divisions of property spouses make false claims of adultery, drug addiction, child molestation and more. Such charges are often met with similar counter-lies from defendants hoping to protect their property by trashing their spouses in the minds of jurors. The things people will say in order to get their hands on, or to hang onto, cash or property are clearly no more restrained than what they will say in order to obtain a divorce. Let’s face it. Divorce is by it’s nature an ugly piece of business.
A few states like Louisianna provide for two forms of civil marriage. Couples are asked to choose between (a) a standard marriage which can be dissolved under the no-fault statute at any time or (b) a covenant marriage which is subject to stricter rules for dissolution. In the context of a covenent marriage, a divorce can only be had after the complaining party shows that he or she has good and sufficient grounds for divorce, has made a good faith effort to salvage the marriage and that, in spite of this effort the marriage cannot be restored. Surprisingly, at least to me, 97% of Louisianna couples are choosing the standard no-fault marriage option. In effect, couples are saying right up front that they prefer to be able to walk away from the proposed marriage at any time for any reason, or for no reason at all.
Gay and lesbian people are fighting hard to win the right to enter into legally sanctioned marriages. One wonders why. Unless we can restore both the perception and fact that marriage is a solemn relationship requiring actual commitment supported by responsible social policy and enforceable laws, the right to marry will be a hollow one for everyone. Hollow rights encourage hollow vows and sanction hollow lives. Let’s repeal no-fault divorce laws for everybody’s sake.
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I agree that it is far too easy to get a divorce and young couples know that before they get marriage. So they don’t take marriage as seriously as they might if it wasn’t so easy to get a divorce. I think that the reason there are so many people who are just shacking up with one another instead of getting married is that they can’t see any difference between getting married and living together. There really isn’t any difference when you can get out of the relationship just by saying that you don’t want to continue it anymore.
Why should people have to stay married if they don’t want to? People shouldn’t have to say that their spouse committed some sin or crime just to get a divorce. If they don’t love the person then they shouldn’t be forced to be married to them. Why make things harder?
Not everybody thought it (no-fault divorce) was such a good idea when California first passed it in 1969. A lot of people were saying then that it would result in people not taking marriage seriously. It looks like the critics were right!
When the push for no-fault divorce was gaining steam back in the 1960s it was at the same time that the psychotherapists were telling us that we shouldn’t feel guilty about anything. Well, we see where that advice has taken our society. Maybe we should repeal the statutes licensing psychotherapy at the same time that we do away with no-fault divorce.
If it feels good, do it. Wasn’t that the rule of the day when no-fault divorce came along? When are people ever going to learn that just because something feels good doesn’t mean that it’s good for you? Self-discipline is hard and doesn’t feel so good all the time, but in the long run it produces better outcomes. Marriage is a serious thing with serious consequences. Nobody should get married without taking it seriously, but I’m afraid that a lot of people do just that knowing they can get out of it by just saying they changed their mind.